But if you need better performance from sideloaded emulators or virtualization host or programs of those sorts which apple doesn’t allow on the App Store, you will have better luck on android.

It seems like one of the differences is, is your phone a tool to run your life or is it your playground? Those are very different requirements that ought to be separate

My phone is a tool to run my life, so it is important to just work. Similarly, my laptop is pretty vanilla because I want it to just work, my router is out of the box because it’s critical for my network to just work, and my home automation is a default install on a physical box because it is a tool I need to just work. For playtime I have a lab network, and servers and a rPi cluster and VMs, and a bunch of old equipment I could resurrect to varying degrees. I can play all I want, without destabilizing my tools