• 3 Posts
  • 28 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
Cake day: June 9th, 2023
  • CoachDom@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml•People who had a quarter-life crisis in their 20's, did you do right to stress?
    3·
    10 months ago

    Coming from a person having a quarter-life crisis being just a baw hair from their 30s.

    1. You are still extremely young but don’t fixate on this. Telling yourself “I’m still young and have plenty of time to do X or fix the Y” means eventually you will be too old for those things. Unless you will fall ill or there will be some age restricted obstacles, it’s not true. You can learn new skills in your 20s as well as your 40s if you are determined enough. Shifting your career? No bother, I know heaps of people that did just that in their uni days as well as ones that are long into their existing career.

    2. Don’t worry about this. If you fell behind the pack with your studies, means it wasn’t for you. Whether it was the nature of your course, or maybe a uni in general. Going to university is not for everybody, just like doing manual labour is not for everybody. Use this opportunity to ask yourself a question, WHY did you drop out. Is it because you were too lazy? If you had true passion for it, you would find motivation to do it.

    3. No shame in that. I know people that are in their 30s and live with their parents to save money for their first home. Use this opportunity to enjoy your life without certain worries. The time to pay taxes, rent and for your food will come and you will look back fondly on this period of your life :) It would still be a good idea to chip in for utilities and food to your parents if you have means to do so. Will probably make you feel better about living there.

    4. Good. Do mistakes. You learn more from your mistakes than from the things you did right. But the important thing is to analyze WHY you made those mistakes.

    5. Maybe check if there is a career advisor near you/on your campus? They offer free advise based on what interests you. Ask yourself what are things in your life that you are passionate about or what kind of stuff do you enjoy doing. Remember, if you are passionate about something, there is a way to make it into your career. There is a reason why some people that are truly passionate about video games, they go into streaming career, and they are very successful. Me for example, I love playing video games, but I don’t see myself doing for a full on career, because I want to keep it as my private hobby, and I lack certain traits to become a successful streamer (English is not my first language, I’m self conscious and I lack certain charisma).

    6. Do it. Only by trying you will learn anything about yourself. Hypothesising will only get you this far.

    That’s my advice :)

  • CoachDom@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml•*Permanently Deleted*
    8·
    1 year ago

    Not 100% true. Some people are more egocentric, like us, but they never look out for any other way of being. These people, will talk and talk and talk for hours, unprompted. Nobody asks them, because they will talk anyway.

    You, my friend, made a step forward to becoming a better conversationalist. You asked us for our opinion. Make a change if you feel it will make a positive impact on your life. Observe how your family and friends respond :)

    Start small!

  • CoachDom@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml•*Permanently Deleted*
    11·
    1 year ago

    I had a similar issue and two things helped.

    1. I once heard that people like to talk more than listen (which was true for me). In addition, a great conversationalist is a person that ask and listens - not the loud, funny outspoken one. People will have a laugh and will listen to you for a little while, but will eventually get bored because they didn’t have an opportunity to participate themselves. So what I started doing now is asking a lot of questions, even if I’m not 100% genuinely interested in the answer, but eventually the other person will say something that will bring us closer together and will give us something to talk about. The second rule of this game, is to try as hard as possible not to say anything unless asked. This is the hard part :D But once you catch yourselves giving opinions/story telling unprompted - stop - back to asking questions.

    You wouldn’t believe how much it changed my life. I used to be extremely nervous about going out 1v1 even with my close friends, out of fear of “What are we going to talk about?”“What if there is going to be an awkward silence” etc. Now I thrive and I love hearing from people, what’s new in their lives and so on. And I noticed people like to talk to me a lot more too!

    1. Realise that “opinions are like assholes - everyone has got one” - and this works in two ways. Respect that your opinion is not definite and final - listen and maybe somebody will say something that will make you revaluate your “truths”. Learn. That’s the only way to grow. Also, don’t give opinion unless asked - sometimes people just need to vent. Not always you need to be there to fix things or correct them.

    Just be respectful, wait for your time when called upon and enjoy the conversation. You know your opinions - by saying them out loud you just repeat what you already know. It’s time to find out what other people are thinking :)