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Unless I did a really poor job researching it, you cannot change your default SMS/MMS application on an iPhone.
You can use other messaging apps like Signal, Whatsapp, Telegram, or AIM. But if you want to use SMS, you have to use iMessage.
Maybe this is US-specific though. Europe often forces Apple to do things they don’t do here.
I love my kids, but if I hadn’t had them, I’d have a lot more money, and less stress from having not quite enough money and lots of responsibility.
Don’t let other people or societal expectations pressure you into the decision either way. Do what you think will work best for you.