Did you date my former coworker? I used to use a chartreuse coathanger because it was the only one of that color, which made it easy for me to spot. One day, as I was putting my coat away, this coworker started talking as if we were already mid-way through an argument. “It’s so green. I don’t know why you said it’s yellow.” Huh? I had no idea what he was talking about at first. I asked if he meant my coathanger, and I responded that I didn’t know what color it was. (I didn’t know what “chartreuse” meant yet.) He ranted on, claiming we fought about it once before, even though this was the first time he’d even talked about my coathanger. It was bizarre.

I think that guy had something psychologically troubling going on. I’d also seen him: ask a question, make up an answer for that question, then immediately proceed to believe the answer he made up with 100% certainty. The question? “How do those Magic Eraser cleaning sponges work?” His answer? “They use paint.” I asked how it could possibly match the color of every surface it’s used on, but he insisted his answer must be right. Truly magical thinking.

I also saw him watch an ad for a random product, then promptly declare that he needed that product. I had always thought of ads as something to tune out, but he legit followed them as if they were friends giving advice. I had never seen anything like that.

Basically: if request, then reject.

Sounds like they were inspired by U.S. health insurance companies.

Shortly after entering adulthood, I lost a close friend. He was still in college at the time, a talented, friendly, bright light snuffed far too early. He was well loved and his funeral was so packed that it was standing room only. One attendee described it as “the most depressing class reunion ever.”

His loss has never left me.

Right before I got the phone call telling me the news, I had been feeling extremely down about myself. I was crossing my work parking lot (which I had to do regularly as part of my job) without looking up for moving cars, thinking that if I got hit, it wouldn’t have mattered.

But that same day, my phone rang. It was a mutual friend, and through obvious tears and a quavering voice, she told me, “John is dead!”

With that, everything changed.

I’ll never forget how much it hurt to lose somebody so important to me. The idea of purposely putting my friends through that has kept me going more times than I can count. I have to remind myself, even in my darkest, most self-hating moments, that I’m more important to others than I realize. I can’t imagine John would have known just how much of an impact he had made on others, but I saw the proof. I felt the pain. I love my friends and family too much to entertain the thought of making them attend my funeral. And so I push on, but with one change:

I now make a point to explicitly tell my friends how much they matter to me.

I’ve mentioned this before in other threads that seek a women-centric Lemmy option, but there was at least one secret community on Reddit like that. Invitees’ post histories were vetted before an invite was sent, both to find women specifically, but also to prevent trolls.

I don’t know exactly how they did it, all I know is that I got an invite one day and found the most open, comforting community I’d ever seen online. It was a place where we could talk about anything from silly stories that made us smile, to complaining about specific issues with bras, all without fear of trolls hijacking the thread, or turning an ordinary thing for us into something sexual.

I miss it.

It’s called “being an ally,” and it’s far more productive than faking outrage and borderline-doxxing people we disagree with.

Here we are 16 or 17-year-old girls showing up to these random college guys house.

Oh man. It’s scary how normal this is treated. I remember having friends with “older boyfriends” and I always felt really weirded out by it. Yet when you’re a kid (or teen, in this case) and your friends act like it’s normal to want adult boyfriends, you’re put in a really awkward position. I wasn’t able to fully articulate or even comprehend everything fucked up about it at the time, but as an adult looking back, holy shit. There’s an entire hidden social ecosystem where being groomed is not only considered normal, but can be seen as enviable by peers.

One time as a kid, a friend lent me her glasses (I never needed glasses, but I always liked them) and I went to climb a tree. In the tree, looking down, the glasses made it seem like I was much closer to the ground than I was.

So I jumped.

It was extremely stupid. There was a point during the fall when I felt like I should’ve reached the ground already, but I hadn’t. In the end I was fine, the glasses were fine, and my friend thought it was funny. But wow, that could’ve gone disasterously wrong.

The downvotes prove your point. This topic needs more discussion, but most of the times when women bring this up, their comments get downvoted to hell. It’s quite a “gotcha” for someone to ask to see “examples” when most of the examples we’ve come across or created will be buried or have since been deleted.

Alternative question - for those that don’t believe this is an issue, when is the last time you came across a post on Lemmy that is specifically for/about women or women’s issues (especially one posted from a woman’s perspective)? Or even better, go ahead and make such a post. Watch how fast the downvotes come.

I expect this comment to be downvoted the same way as the parent comment was, the same way that past posts I’ve made and read about women’s issues have been downvoted on Lemmy. If men want this place to be inclusive for women, they have to do their part to support us - not downvoting our concerns, simply because they don’t experience the same issues, is the absolute bare minimum. Otherwise, why would we keep posting/commenting about our issues when doing so invites a downvote cascade?

I agree with applying healthy skepticism to any and all stories. At the same time, I can’t blame a recent Reddit refugee for not fully trusting Lemmy yet. They don’t know the environment here. It makes sense for someone to be apprehensive about repeating a thing that just got them banned somewhere else.

But I hope OP feels comfortable enough here to share their story some day.

That’s perfect. The more aliases, the better

The door is located after you click your username in the upper-right corner, and choose “Settings” from the drop-down. Scroll to the bottom of the page. On the left, in red, is a button to delete your account.

I’m not sure what really happens after that, though - I’ve never gone out that door. IIRC a deletion can take time, since various servers have to sync that information.

-Takes a bong hit-

So in a way, a recently-deleted account continues to exist across the Fediverse for a while. It is temporarily trapped to this plane of existence, until it can complete its final mission (deleting itself) across every corner of its known Fediverse. Then, and only then, can an account truly experience deletion.

-Passes to the left-

Anyone else think chocolate is great? I love to eat the rich, dark kind for dessert. It’s a delightful way to end a meal.

Yeah, I’m confused too. Where does it say this is from /r/conservative? It says it’s posted on /r/self. Granted, I only ever used old Reddit, so maybe I’m missing something about this layout, but where’s the evidence this is at “the top of r conservative”?

Thankfully, there are some designs that improve on this! Here’s what’s in my kitchen:

The brand is OXO, for anyone curious.

The keyboard I’m currently using has a key in the F-row that’s tied to a lock screen. I accidentally hit it several times a day, and end up having to put in the passcode to unlock the computer every time.

I wish I could disable that stupid key. I’m tempted to pop it right out. But I use a shared computer, so I’m limited in options here.

I used to consider it a way to highlight a comment that I thought others should see. I have no idea if it holds the same power now, since gold, platinum, and a million other little “award badges” are now available. Yet once upon a time, seeing a gold icon next to a comment seemed to draw people’s attention. If a comment got gilded early, you’d see a huge difference in upvotes and replies for that particular comment.

In dark times of desperation, seeking help on the internet, I sometimes find myself tempted by the Reddit thread in the top of my search results.

But I know that if I click it, the only thing that will happen is the familiar cross-armed Snoo popping up and telling me, “You’ve been blocked by network security.”

It’s like a reality check for me: I don’t want to use Reddit, and Reddit doesn’t want me using it. So I’m going to need to either get better at searching for solutions, or try to solve problems in my own way.

In the end, introducing more barriers to entry has simply reinforced my decision not to go to Reddit. Their blocking of VPNs has conditioned me to ignore Reddit links in search results entirely, mentally filtering them out the same way I do with ads/sponsored content.

Nice work, Spez.

BONUS: I just came across a Google support page where someone asks, “How do I Block Reddit and Quora results from all searches permanently”. The top answer is hilarious and sad.

I’d really love to find a new radio for my car that: 1) can serve as a monitor for my back-up camera, and 2) isn’t a fucking touch screen.

There are models that are one or the other, but I haven’t found anything that’s both. The closest I’ve found is a compromise - a touchscreen that also has a few tactile controls. But I don’t want to have to rely on any touch screen when I’m driving. I simply don’t feel compelled enough to spend $400+ for a frustrating half-measure.

Does anyone know of any plug-in or app that removes photos of him and Musk? I want to stay informed, but goddamn am I sick of seeing their faces plastered on every article. Even reader mode keeps the photos in.

Isn’t .world the most populous instance? Hmm…

This is interesting. I get the impression that some admin/mods truly don’t understand how the Fediverse operates. They ban one (or a few) instance name(s), but there are so many more that they might not even recognize as Lemmy links, which get past the radar.

At the same time, there are fears here that .world could become disproportionately powerful compared to other instances, due to its high user count.

So in a way, Reddit blocking traffic to .world while permitting links to other instances can benefit us all. Smaller instances gain users, which is an important step toward balancing things out and keeping any one instance from becoming too powerful. Thanks, Reddit!

(I recognize the irony of saying this while having a .world account. I wasn’t aware of its standing in Lemmy when I made it. I am also still learning the Fediverse myself and don’t know how to transfer my account to another instance yet.)