So we’ve been down that road. There are company computers available for that purpose, and training has been provided. It’s a joke we tell each other around here that the only training we get is on the app.

For the handful of folks who are legally prohibited from having a smart phone, the state has requirements in place that they be notified of any schedule changes in advance, they’re often the first to know.

The CEO frequently holds little meetings and fields questions, that’s the next route.

I don’t know what they were sold or why they’re so insistent that we download the app, but their feverish insistence that we download it sure makes me suspicious.

Almost certainly. If the guy who was making yandere simulator was tasked with a sprinkler app, it wouldn’t be much worse than it currently is.

I don’t know shit about fuck when it comes to programming, but I know bad programming when I see it.

I’m sure it can’t actually do any of those things, but it would be nice if it would stop suggesting that it could when I try to open up certain things

I did mention that when I connected to it via a VPN I could see my outgoing traffic spike suspiciously, that particular member of HR is no longer with the company and few of those remaining have the technical background to understand why I find that problematic.

Sadly around here, you’re either on board with the direction the ship is sailing, or you’re not on board. Those is us in bargained positions have been fine, and voice our frustrations freely. But management does not have the same freedom to do so.

I did mention at one of these meetings that we wouldn’t give them space on our personal devices for free, it did not change their tune. The union has been hammering them on it during negotiations but I doubt they’ll budge on that and we have bigger issues to deal with so they won’t let it be a sticking point.

If I could rip that thing off the wall and replace it with a spigot I would.

My wife wants it, and she cares more about the grass than I do.

I have never actually tried, it’s just suggesting it as an app that can do those things.

I work in a manufacturing environment. A few years ago they decided they needed a company social media app. They hired, or more likely were sold the idea by Salesforce and built this stupid ass website, then went on a fucking War campaign to get people to install the app on their phone.

They demanded. They begged. They removed functions of HR to the app exclusively. When we protested they simply said no, no room to negotiate, no give. You will use the app or you will not have access to certain information required to do your job. When they closed the plant one day and posted it on the app, they threatened to write up an entire shift that showed up to work anyway without knowing any better.

Because apparently, when you get up at 4 am the first thing you’re supposed to do every day is check an app on your phone to see if you have work that day.

They used to just push out a robo call.

When we have committee meetings with HR they go something like this.

HR: how can we get you guys on the app Committee: how can we retrieve these functions from the app HR: you can’t Committee: that’s your answer.

There have been at least 6 versions of this meeting that I have been a part of.

Most of my coworkers are older than me. Few of them have fancy phones, generally the most basic phone you can get. A number of my coworkers are on parole or work release and have limited access to smart phones for one reason or another and literally have no access to the app.

I was chatting with one of the IT gals recently and apparently resistance to the app is pretty widespread. When I said “venture capital IT firm” she gave me a high five.

They want everyone using this thing and maybe 15% of the company has it. Then they switched to Workday.

It hasn’t gone well.

I have an app for my sprinkler system and it’s a fucking nightmare. Not only is it basically just a web API, it’s so transparently just a glorified browser with access to exactly one site that frequently my phone thinks that app will work for whatever else I’m trying to open.

Document? Sprinkler app. Web Page? Sprinkler app. Installing from a source other than Google? Oh you better believe the sprinkler app can do that.

Doing anything takes longer to load than it would take me to walk from anywhere on my property to the fucking box and hit whatever button I need to hit.

It frequently forgets what I entered for preferences. I can tell it a week ahead what days I want it to skip but if I do that more than 24 hours on advance I might as well not have done it at all.

Oh you want to make a payment online? Let your sprinklers do that for you. YouTube video? Sprinkler app. YouTube video about fixing your fucking sprinkler system? Sprinkler app.

Apparently the one thing it can’t do is effectively manage my water usage. It’s ONE job

It’s called SudoGetLinux’s law

If internet companies want to make an argument like that, then internet should be treated as a utility.

HI JUST JOSHIN I’M WOGI

Guys it’s literally in the completely free to download book linked in this post, called exactly what it’s called here.

You think it might be??

Bro say that shit with some confidence.

Venture capital does not contribute beneficially to society.

That’s just it, they’re an easy target, and communications infrastructure is one of the first things you want to control or eliminate if you’re taking hostile territory.

Many years ago my grandfather was involved in an air force test of aerial defense platforms that used balloons.

The idea was you could station these things all around the country and at the first sign of an attack you could have missiles launched from 10k feet to anywhere from anywhere.

The test encountered two problems that caused them to abandon the idea.

These balloons were incredibly easy to shoot down. Which would, presumably, rain volatile rocket fuel and munitions down on whatever was beneath them.

And if a missile launched, but failed to separate completely from it’s housing, it would carry that balloon on a wild, unpredictable trajectory, until it collided with something or it decided it had reached it’s detonation time.

They already charge a ridiculous monthly fee just to use the bike.

And sure, it’s a nicer exercise bike, but you can get a similar experience with a much cheaper bike and a tablet.

Few natural born enemies exist, fewer still as deep and natural as the animosity between machinery and maintenance.

sad machinist noises

“let’s have kids!”

“With what fooken money Midge?? With what fooken money??”