I learned about 9/11 because it happened when I was in high school.

I hated Donald Trump long before he became president.

I’m not a nerd. Nerds are smart.

Bort

The rest of the day is going to stink regardless.

Mind your ps and qs. What are ps and qs?

Lana! He remembers me!

Ocelot

Had a substitute teacher once who thought that the word Hell was a bad word even when referring to the location.

A lot of OTC meds that are in boxes have annoying packaging where you have to peel off the little paper before you can push the pill through the wrapping. The paper doesn’t always like to peel off properly and it makes it harder to get the pill out of the packaging.

They’re not gay, but they’ll learn.

If I sleep wrong I wake up in pain.

https://www.wikihow.com/Teach-Somebody-How-to-Drive

That seems very likely actually.

WinRAR

See username

Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell

The amount of candles on you’re birthday cake are so numerous that the fire department comes out.

Because we are not entertained.

The 1994 World Series was a particularly bad series for baseball fans.

Chunky bars. Kids like raisins in their chocolate, right?