They could have gone with a more contemplative “Look inward”.

Seriously don’t be a dick, just absurdly relevant.

Simple compliments help a lot too. "Nice work!“ or whatever can really make sometimes day!

You could consider the question of whether there is still something about reddit that you value. Seeking an alternative usually means you’re trying to fulfill a value or need the previous option provided. While that was true when i first landed on Lemmy there’s simply nothing i value about reddit anymore. So i no longer consider it an alternative.

There’s also the alternative motive of valuing/supporting FOSS/federation.

🙏

but their many relationships are entirely performative. and they have built up their entire life as one big act.

Is precisely the part i disagree with if you’re going to generalize the way you did in your first reply. Hence talking about the experience even with honest meaningful deep non-performative relationships.

it means they are mentally ill.

Psychological health indeed impacts it, hence why i brought up depression and anxiety to name just two of many conditions that could contribute.

The wealth disease, on the other hand, is probably generalizable in the way you’re suggesting. I couldn’t really care it someone is sad about being ultra-wealthy. Maybe they should give it up and be a depressed laborer like the rest of us.

This is an extremely reductive take based on anecdote.

There are a lot of reasons people can feel lonely. Hell you can even feel lonely when you have deep meaningful relationships. Sometimes it’s a result of anxiety or depression, or an abusive relationship.

Of course some people fall into the category you speak of too.

My anus is bleeding

Yeah anxiety sucks ass. Speaking from personal and recent experience my suggestion is ACT (or CBT) therapy if that’s an option for you.

I think this is a + use case for AI. It’s in the “Not like that” realm of use cases

The taboo is starring/oggling or catcalling a stranger. If you look people in the eyes/face and don’t linger then no one is going to care except people who would have been a bother in any case.

Seems you have a plan. Good luck!

Ooh that doesn’t sound nice, you shouldn’t be hurting yourself.

I’m suggesting you learn [train yourself] to be in the presence of women comfortably without even having to worry about getting an erection. It makes it a lot easier to get to know women.

But if you want a men’s only gym there’s plenty of hole-in-the-wall places called “Iron Pounders” or something like that. At-home weights are also widely available.

🤣

Just like any other emotion arousal is a response to a thought. It’s a wave of experience that’s washing over you. That part you can control but it’s less important here. The important part is the thought triggering the arousal. When you are in a situation where you think you can experience sexual outcomes (even if just fantasy) you’re likely to trigger your arousal response and pop a boner. These thoughts can also be tied to set and setting. You probably trained yourself not to have erections around family or in places with social stigma around it like most public places. So you have to recognize that you’re having a thought of sexualization, then you can reframe the setting as an inappropriate one for sexual arousal.

In the moment you can respond with deep breathing meditation if that helps. Focus on your breathing and think about the thought and (paradoxically) feel the feelings the thought brings. You’re doing two things. 1. You’re changing your learned response by doing something other than sexualizing a random stranger or sand (which ironically, being silica, is technically rock hard). 2. You’re learning how to recognize the thought, emotion and mechanics of it’s development to better manipulate it.

It’s not like it’s quick and easy, it can take a while and some effort, but not being a pest nor feeling guilty about contributing to women’s daily difficulty is imo worth it. Not only does this make you a better more approachable person in public but learning about your own arousal can make you last longer (if that’s an issue) and have better, more intense and rewarding sex/pleasure. Win win imo!

Kilt suggestions?

You can learn self-control.

Windows 10 will still be usable after support ends. Security is the only concern, and not that big of one if you regularly back up. It may be a good idea dual boot with Linux on a separate drive while you hammer out the issues with whatever distro.

I personally think anything with plasma 6 will fit for interface coming from windows. Some sort of distro like Ubuntu or Debian that commonly has pre-packages in the wild would make sense.

I never suggested it.

More or less,

Arch gave me some issues on install getting steam games to run on my main graphics card but since fixing then it’s been maintenance free. There were some other issues that resolved with system updates, e.g. HDR on Wayland/KDE but Plasma update fixed it almost a year ago.

I’m running AMD/AMD/ASUS RoG.

My windows dual bout however takes 5min for all the bootup apps to launch and explorer is unstable. Probably because of local account and some policies I’ve been locking AI and metrics down with. Also Office clock to run burns my cpu when at idle and it ignores the manual start setting in services as well as startup-apps menu. It’s just there for work.

Edit given below comments: I am NOT suggesting Arch for a beginner who wants simple and easy. Plenty of more beginner friendly distros will need even less maintenance.

It’s also using mercator projection